NPR Satire of the RC Welcome...

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From: outreach@vatican.com

To: Disaffected Anglicans

CC: sheila@vatican.com

Subject: Fed up?

Greetings from Vatican City!

If you're reading this letter, you're probably a lifelong Anglican. You've worked hard at your faith and always played by the rules. But lately you haven't been happy with certain developments. Maybe you're even on the fence about your religion. Sometimes you drive past a Catholic church and wonder, "What goes on in there?"

Consider this your official invitation to find out. Since the Reformation almost 500 years ago, people have tended to emphasize the differences between Anglicans and Catholics. But there are a lot of similarities, too. For example, both Catholics and Anglicans consider themselves adherents of the one true faith, whereas people of other religions generally consider themselves in the top 10.

You're probably saying to yourself, "Changing religions sounds like a lot of work." But we want to assure you we're committed to helping make your transition as smooth as possible. You can even keep driving to your former Anglican church, and we'll pick you up with our free weekend shuttle service. It's all part of the Catholic Church's plan to broaden its earthly ranks, using state-of-the-art technology calibrated to poach top talent from all faiths. (For example, our shuttle service outreach program targeted Ivy League Buddhists with driver's licenses.) For years, we've been sending undercover scouts to churches, temples and mosques, getting the e-mail addresses of decent choir sopranos (we're low on sopranos) and anyone who cringes when something remotely gay happens.

Read it all here.