Can We Make Someone Care about LGBT Issues?

I am just finishing 2 3-year terms on the NEA SOGI committee.  Posting a picture from the meeting on Facebook with the full name of the group, The National Education Association Committee on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identification, I received a thought provoking comment.  Essentially it said, "A group of people trying to make themselves feel important sitting around talking about gender?  As far as I know there are only 2, perhaps neuter."  This is a paraphrase.  I deleted the comment without saving it. To the the comment author, a gay man, I sent a note explaining that members of the team, including me, found this "offensive and ill-informed."

The fact that one of the largest unions in the country, dealing with shaping the future of education in the U.S., cares enough to gather a group of allies and LGBT members is a great thing.  I can tell you that the people I worked with there gather not to self-aggrandize, but to push the limits of NEA's support for these issues.  Most of them have multiple leadership roles which make them incredibly important already.  The most important thing they do is teach, and they do it well.

It is easy for those of us who live in progressive states to imagine that the problems for LGBT students are disappearing (though that is quite a leap).  That is not the case in less progressive places. Tennessee's legislature is attempting to ban any discussion by teachers of sexuality that is not heteronormative. It is referred to as the "Don't Say Gay" bill. They also want to require counsellors to report confidential disclosures by students that they are gay or questioning their sexuality to their parents.

What I found ill-informed in the comment was the simplistic view of gender, one I shared for many years.  Working with various groups, attending many conferences,  and most importantly, meeting transgender people, I have a completely different understanding of this issue. Just recently a friend share the story of an uncle who was born inter-sex and was assigned male gender at birth. He lived his life as a man for 62 years. Then the estrogen kicked in. Losing all body hair and developing breasts, doctors discovered that she has complete female "plumbing" and is now living life as a woman.

For LGBT gender nonconforming students the statistics for the abuse abuse from their peers is clear.  More frightening is that more than half of theres abuses are reported to adults and only half of those reports result in any action against their abusers.

In offline discussion with the comment poster mentioned above he made the statement, "You can't make people care."  In my experience that is true with most strangers to whom I speak.  But when I speak to people who already care about me it's a different story.  You can make someone who cares about you, care about the issues that affect you.

In my work with Believe Out Loud workshops, a program supported by Integrity USA, the Episcopalian LGBT advocacy group, and it's grantors, we focus on this point.  LGBTQI folks need to tell their stories to the people that care about them.  This is now change occurs.

If you or someone you know is not "out," this year, consider giving or suggesting they give an amazing gift this Christmas. Give the gift of the real you.

TOMORROW: Why your vote matters for LGBT people

I am updating my Facebook cover to reflect the the importance of tomorrow's election for LGBT Americans, and not only Americans, but hope for LGBT people around the world. It could give them great hope that this country, a model of democracy, cares about ALL of its citizen.

There is a clear choice.  One party has a platform that institutionalized discrimination.  One party has a platform that supports full equality.  One party supports the so called 'Defense of Marriage Act' (DOMA) and a constitutional amendment that would make it part of the Constitution.  One party calls for the repeal of DOMA and opposes amending the constitution to deny rights and responsibilities to a particular segment of our society.

The GOP is on record to deny LGBT their rights.  The Democrats are for marriage equality and protecting the rights of all.

Four states vote on Marriage Equality tomorrow.  Maine, Maryland, Washington and Minnesota will go to the polls to decide if civil marriage is available for all. Martin O'Malley, Governor of Maryland, said,"I want to leave my kids a society where everyone's home is protected under the law."

Gov. Martin O'Malley (D) Maryland

The first openly gay Senator, Tammy Baldwin, could be elected in Wisconsin. While there are a number of openly gay member of the House of Representatives, this will be the first member of congress voted in by an entire states electorate.

If you are a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered or you love or even care about someone who is, please think carefully about your vote and how it will affect the future of equality for you, your neighbors, your loved ones and every single American.

Please, if you are on the fence, or even leaning right, let this decide which candidate deserves your vote.

One final note:  If you identify as Christian, vote on the principals that Jesus spoke, not the values that have been adopted by some followers to exclude some of God's children.  Vote to include.

Thank you!

Update:  Did I leave out SUPREME COURT APPOINTEES?   Yikes!

Clooney speaks about equality...

After winning Best Actor in a Drama at the Golden Globes, George Clooney uses his press interview to comment on Gay Equality and Mitt Romney:

Google's Gay Surprise..

Search Google this month for non LGBT related stuff and you get the usual...


But search for something LGBT related things and look what happens! IheartGOOGLE.

The Beast From 30,000 feet

My first in-flight blog! What to say, What to say? The trip to San Diego and LA was great. BOL Workshop a real success AND fine hospitality from David Norgard and Joseph Oppold made a visit to LA a real delight. I spent most of one day at The Getty Center and another at the Getty Villa. Really two amazing places.

In San Diego we held the first of series of workshops on Believe Out Loud (Episcopal Congregations). The attendees were engaged and wanted to dig into the work. Many questions were answered and as many raised about how we can spread the good news that God loves each and every one of us.

We learned positive ways to engage people with grace, tell our stories and listen one-on-one.

More to come: Portland July 9 and 10, Hartford July 23 and 24 .... Columbus and Atlanta (?) TBD.

Closing Our Nursery School

I suppose I should preface every entry with the same disclaimer: This may be frivolous and may be profound. In truth it is more frivolous than I would like to believe and likewise less profound.

At St. John's, my small parish is an small town, we will be closing our nursery school at the end of the school year. It was not a completely fiscal nor a completely mission driven decision. It just seemed time.

As usual I am much better at reacting than forecasting in situations like this. There is much I wish I had said earlier. Don't get me wrong. It WAS the right decision for this time.

I spent much to much time in the garden this afternoon. The affects of UV attest to that. But I could not leave. There was much to be done and it is the only time that I really spend praying. OK, praying is not what most would call it, but it is having that internal dialogue that takes me closer to meditation than anything in my life. And after I have exhausted my monologue with uninterested bugs and dirt and weeds and flowers I finally settled into the issue that weighs.

Today, it was the nursery school. It is safe to say that St. John's is the least dogmatic church in the community. There is a Roman church, a Presbyterian and Methodist place to go on Sunday morning. Thanks to the past 40 years of evolution in the Episcopal Church and being in a parish and a diocese that has embraced that evolution we are the least dogmatic. We are the risk takers. We have openly straight and gay parishioners, our rector is a red-headed dervish and, with few exceptions, we supported President Obama. Let me quickly add, lest the IRS is tuned in, I speak individually not corporately. Our attempt at a book group always dissolves into a group of radicals bemoaning the reign of Republicans masquerading as Christians.

So what does this have to do with the nursery school? Well, I don't know. But I have a great curiosity about the possibilities.

Few parishioners have ever had children in the nursery school. It was a community institution and for that reason as good Episcopalians we avoided cramming religion down the throats of these little tykes. We respected the fact that there may have been Jews, Papists, Muslims, Druids or devote atheist there. The head teacher was not Episcopalian and so we had a largely non-denominational, perhaps even secular curriculum. I, in my Episcopalianess, supported that fully...

But now I wonder.

What if we had made it perfectly clear that this was an Episcopal school and because of that there would be religious education... But completely on our terms. We would teach of a God that was not necessarily male or female. We would talk openly about how God dwells in each of us... and we would teach that we are all created in God's image... regardless of color, ethnicity and sexual orientation. We would have "Heather has Two Mommies" read aloud. We would include alternative family structures, including same sex couples.

In other words we would lay the groundwork for the moral equality of LGBT folk.

We would make this clear. We would not teach sex education. Parents would know this and if they could not buy into it they would take their children elsewhere.

What if we had done that? Would it have made a difference? Would the school have closed earlier or would it have provided a welcome alternative in an affluent, well educated community?

How does this apply to the bigger church?

Lesbian Candidate for IX Bishop of Minnesota

The Rev. Bonnie Perry, a lesbian, is one of 3 well-qualified candidates announced today to be the IX Bishop of Minnesota. The Diocesan Search Committee announce that The Rev. Mariann Edgar Budde, Perry and The Rev. Brain Prior are the candidates that they will present to an electing Convention in October. Additional nominees may come from "the floor." More information on all candidates can be found here.

The announcement follow just two weeks after the General Convention passed resolution D025 which effectively undoes the moratorium called for by B033.

Perry's high profile is in part as the co-convener of the Chicago Consultation a progress organization which joined Integrity this year in lobbying to move Beyond B033. Prior also enjoys visibility in the Episcopal Church as the Vice President of the House of Deputies.

International Day Against Homophobia May 17, 2009

We are Neil and Kyle from Mendon, NY

and we are proud to be gay!

We have arrived!

"Hallmark Cards is set to ramp up its greeting card business for those "non-traditional" families on your list, supplying its stock of wedding and civil unions greeting cards to all 500 corporate-owed stores.The firm, the very name of which is synonymous with wholesome greetings on any occasion, is responding to consumer needs by making the cards more available starting this summer."

read it all

Thank You Mel White

Watch it and pass it around.